That's no cat
by sharkinterviewee
Summary: There's a sharp intake of breath from beside him before Gamora started weakly hitting his arm to get his attention. "Peter, I want it," she said, staring straight ahead. He looked over and followed her gaze to find what had her all worked up. Safe to say he was surprised to find that Gamora was staring at a cat. A kitten, to be more accurate. (Pet adoption fluff and humor)


**AN: Contains minor Captain Marvel spoilers. Honestly, if you've been on the internet, you probably already know about the whole cat thing. That's it.**

* * *

Peter sighed, trying to be as annoying as possible about it because he was a pedantic little shit. They had only been standing in line for a few minutes, and he'd made sure to dramatically sigh for most of them, lest anyone ever consider Star-lord mature. Even though shoplifting would be so much easier and quicker, they were the good guys now, so here he was, waiting in line to pay for supplies like a total schlub, and making sure his moral compass knew how annoyed he was with this silly idea of waiting in line in order to give other people their hard earned money.

It's not like Gamora didn't appreciate his sticky fingers. She did, when they were in dire straights, low on resources in hostile environments, when Peter lifting a weapon or something valuable from someone he brushed past with his victim none the wiser was an extremely useful talent given the high risk line of work they did. He was resourceful, was one way to put it.

But whenever they had funds from a recently completed job and were making a supply run on some planet or marketing hub- when they had the means, and were out shopping because that's what a supply run was, she insisted on them actually waiting in a check out line and paying for the items they'd be taking back to the ship. Peter didn't make too much of a fuss about it. Honestly, it was more routine by now. Him being in an overdramatic huff and whining 'it's taking _so _long' and Gamora telling him to shut it.

Seriously, they only had two items, while the five people in front of them had baskets overflowing with junk. Whatever happened to cutsies?

Usually, by this many sighs, Gamora would be giving him a smart comment right about now, but she wasn't really focused on him or any sounds coming from his general direction.

There's a sharp intake of breath from beside him before Gamora started weakly hitting his arm to get his attention.

"Peter, I want it," she said, staring straight ahead. Her eyes were impossibly wide, and her voice was hushed in that way that reminded him of a kid that was too excited and completely overwhelmed before they went into almost shut down when faced with something that was too amazing to process.

He looked over and followed her gaze to find what had her all worked up. Safe to say he was surprised to find that Gamora was staring at a cat. A kitten, to be more accurate.

Even though she had his full attention, she hadn't stopped tap tap tapping on his upper arm with her whole hand, insistent as she marveled at the creature she couldn't seem to look away from.

He looked back and forth between Gamora and the animal she had her eyes locked on. Then he squinted at her.

"You want a cat?"

"That's not a cat, it's a flerken," she breathed. She thinks she might be in love.

"Dude, a tentacle cat is still a cat. That's a straight up kitten over there. You want a kitten."

"Yes," she confirmed. "I want a kitten. Go get me that black one. We have a connection. It wants to come home with us."

It made eye contact with her- they had a soul communion, she's certain of it. It chose her.

Peter snorted at her order. "Yeah, no. I'm not going to go get you that cat. I'll go _with you _and we can ask if you can pet it and see how much it is, kay?"

Gamora nodded numbly as they gave up their space in line, actually holding onto his arm as they edged closer to the stall that had some tiny kittens in a box.

They were meowing so pitifully.

Gamora was dithering as they stood in front of the box, but made no move to reach out or even pet the one she claimed to have a connection with, instead just clung to Peter's arm and stared down at the box of kittens.

"The black one, right?" He asked, realizing that he was gonna be the one leading this interaction between Gamora and this kitten that she clearly wanted just _oh so badly. _

The kitten in question let out a pathetic mew, looking up at them beseechingly while its orange and white and grey stripey brethren purred in a lazy, messy kitten pile.

"Yes," Gamora breathed, rocking on the balls of her feet. She was practically shaking in excitement when Peter gently scooped it out of the box and deposited the tiny creature in her arms.

Gamora clutched it close to her chest, instantly melting at the little furball, cuddling it as close as possible while still being sure not to frighten it.

It was probably the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. Gamora fawning over a kitten and being so taken by the adorable animal in her arms. Utterly heartwarming.

The seller behind the stall dutifully informed Peter that each flerken came with a muzzle, though it would be several months before its mouth tentacles were any longer than a few inches and really posed any danger. Gamora was clearly tuning out any aspect of the conversation, instead holding the kitten up before her face and staring into its soulful little eyes and oh my god was she cooing at it, he was teasing her so hard for this when they got home. She was a mess- the most dangerous woman in the galaxy turning to mush over a black little fuzz ball, this might be one of the greatest days of his life.

Okay, maybe waiting in lines wasn't the worst thing after all. If Peter had just stolen all the supplies like he always wanted to then they would've walked right out the door without ever spotting the flerken stall.

"You should watch out," the attendant advised her, looking slightly nervous about how close Gamora was holding the flerken to her face. "A light scratch can really cause some damage from them. Pocket dimensions can really do a number on you, but you won't have to worry about that much when it's so young. Claws are another matter. The toxicity from a single scratch- don't underestimate the damage their claws can do. Be careful how you hold it and treat it. It might not mean to do you any harm, but biological life and flerken claws don't mix. Especially when you guys don't know each other yet. I'd be careful about holding it so close to your face in a public, bustling environment. Please. You can keep holding it, but it's still under my care, and injuries are bad for business. As a future caretaker, you should still watch out for the claws. They're real nasty things."

"I know," Gamora said, gently lowering the flerken back to cradling it against her chest. "We have come to an understanding," she added matter of factly, but the attendant just seemed relieved she wasn't holding it up to her face anymore. She was so serious too, like dutifully informing them that she and the deadly flerken had come to an understanding that it would not scratch Gamora just by staring into each other's eyes. Peter would never say it out loud (not in public, he did value his life after all), but her certainty was god damn adorable.

* * *

"How could you tell it was a flerken?" Peter asked, peering down at the thing on the walk back. "It just looks like a normal, non lethal kitten."

Gamora and her new best friend had gotten in some quality bonding time while he waited in line once again to actually purchase the supplies that they went out for, and even though he swore the line had gotten twice as long as the first time they waited in it, it wasn't actually that bad. He got to watch Gamora standing off to the side just straight up cuddling a kitten in public, which was definitely a plus. The walk home wasn't too bad either, he thought, swinging the bag back and forth around his hand in a way that probably would have annoyed her if her attention wasn't focused elsewhere.

At his question, Gamora sighed. "There was a sign, Peter. Big disclaimer that said if a customer was to step within scratching distance they forfeited any right to complain over damages or loss of limbs resulting from the animals. You didn't even see it, did you?" She shook her head, because she already knew the answer. It was huge and eye catching, since a disclaimer like that was one you wanted to make visible. Of course he didn't even notice it.

"Not at all."

* * *

"What the hell is that flarkin' thing doing on my ship?" Rocket screeched, throwing a wrench at it once he spotted the monstrosity his teammates had brought on board. The wrench that Gamora easily dodged, by the way.

"No, it's a _flerken _," Peter corrected him, trying not to smile at Rocket scrambling and freaking out at a tiny alien fuzzy monster baby that had grown very attached to Gamora by now.

"I know what it is, numb nuts! Kill it with fire! What kind of d'ast idiots-" it isn't until Rocket pulled out his gun and aimed it straight at Gamora that Quill realized maybe this had gone to far.

"Woah woah woah!" Peter shouted, stepping in between the two, while Gamora protectively curled her shoulder over the defenseless, extremely deadly, high level threat she was trying to smuggle onto their vessel. "Rocket, dude, it's a baby!"

"Eggs, Quill! Eggs! It's a baby today, tomorrow this ship will be crawling with these things and we'll all be dead just because you two," he glared, pointing accusatory fingers at both Peter and Gamora, "Decided to get all soft on me! That thing's not just a loaded gun! It's a time bomb that's leaching radiation slowly poisoning us all if that cuddly little flerken doesn't decide to take us out _today!_ Gamora! Why are you holding one! I expect this kind of shit from this idiot over here!" He shouted, throwing his gun waving hand in Peter's direction. "But not you! You should know better! Why are you still holding it! What are either of youse doing with a flarkin' _flerkin_?!"

"She's no more dangerous than you," she said with a bit of stink, and Rocket looked like he was about to blow a gasket. "If we properly socialize her from a young age," she continued, scritching under the kitten's chin, much to its purring delight.

Her comment had already sent Rocket into a spritzing furball of offense, not even sure what to make of that slight, what issue he was taking with all the dumb words that just came outta her mouth, but hating every one of them.

"Think of it, Rocket," she said, before he could respond with a scathing statement, practically frothing at the mouth with anger. She held the flerken out towards him, still careful to support it, and still several strides away from Rocket, but she was making a point. "Infinite pocket dimensions. How easy will it be smuggling contraband when we have an adult flerken on board we've raised since childhood that can swallow three hostile enemies, a Hadron enforcer, and a cosmic cube in one go, and regurgitate the hadron enforcer on command, huh? How much easier will it be for you to steal things when you have someone who can swallow the evidence just like that? And no, I'm not talking about Groot, you know he got sick last time you needed him to 'cover for you'."

At the mention of how practical a flerken team pet would be, and how much Rocket could benefit from it, she saw the exact moment he actually started considering it, and she knew she was in.

"Plus, she would be a good defense system for anyone trying to break in or sneak on board. She's a baby now. She will know the guardians are her family and to protect them well before she can swallow any of us and send anything to a pocket dimension. She is a perfect smuggler's hold, you have to admit." Gamora beamed, knowing her points were well argued. She'd had the whole way back to come up with them.

Rocket scoffed, but lowered his gun.

"If this backfires, I'm blaming you, and you," he said, first pointing to Peter, _then _to Gamora. "In that order."

He stalked off before Peter's offended whine made it out of his throat, with one last look at the foul beast and mouthing _I've got my eye on you_ at it. The creature bumped its head against Gamora's hand, purring happily.

* * *

"You got a name for it, yet?" Peter asked, scritching the kitten under her chin. She was awfully cute. He had a feeling the little cutie knew it too.

"I was thinking about that," Gamora pursed her lips, seeming uncertain. He looked up at her hesitation, nodding for her to continue. She paused a moment more, then- "Would it be disrespectful to name her Bacon?"

She thought it would be a good name, befitting a guardian of the galaxy to be named after an earthen hero. A legend. She had hoped Peter would like the name, but she was half worried it would be considered offensive to name a pet after such a beloved and respected figure of Terran lore.

Peter absolutely lit up at it though, grinning from ear to ear. "Bacon. It's perfect."

* * *

**AN: Gamora naming it Bacon isn't just a reference to the first GOTG movie. It's kinda a reference/nod to both the comics and the Captain Marvel movie when it comes to flerken naming conventions.**  
**In the comics, Captain Marvel's cat/later identified flerken is named Chewie, after the one and only Chewbacca from Star Wars (also where the fic title came from), and in the Captain Marvel movie the flerken is named Goose as a top gun reference, so Gamora naming this flerken Bacon kept with the 80s movies naming theme.**  
**Also, in the comics, Rocket flips out at having a flerken on board and "kill it with fire" is a direct quote, as is him shouting about egg laying. The flerken powers/abilities (pocket dimensions, tentacle mouths, toxic claws) are all canon too.**


End file.
